Everything feels different. All my life I've been dying to have friends and hang out all the time and blah blah blah. Now, I have that and I don't really want it. I only want what I can't have, that has been evident for a long time. This is different. I would so much rather sit around at home watching tv with my mom or just reading by myself than hang out with friends. What the fuck? I have tons of fun with my friends, but it's all the same. I'm more interested in books, movies, and tv than actually socializing. It's like my mind refuses to let me be normal, which I love most of the time. I just feel like I'm hurting my friends by not hanging out with them. All this confusion has made me feel really tired all the time and not wanting to go anywhere or even leave my bed. On the brightside 9 days til Adventure-Con!
I'm not sure where I stand on a lot of things so just to review...
Politics- I get ridiculously into and I should probably stay out.
Religion- I have none, but I'm tolerant of those who are actually faithful to their religion and don't use it as an excuse. I believe religion and government should stay far far away from each other.
Myself- I hate/love myself. I don't regret anything that I've done and wouldn't change a thing, but the past is very painful. I have learned to accept things and move on.
My friends- I love them to death.
My family- They geniunely care about me and I should stop taking them for granted.
My future- I have no fucking idea, even my plans for UW might be wavering. Not knowing what I want for the future scares me.